Friday, August 19, 2005

Questions, questions

It's funny after all these years, how you hear the same things over and over from different people. If I had a quarter in my account for every time someone asked me for a "hot tip", I could have retired a decade ago. Of course, there are a few loons out there as well. Here are some of the more foolish questions I've been asked over the years:

1. "Can you call me a few days before the stock market falls big to warn me?"
Hmmm... Yeah, I'll grab the crystal ball and check on it for you. All brokers have the ability to know to the exact moment the stock market will have a really bad down day. Watch out for Tuesday--Yikes! Just don't expect me to use the crystal ball to tell you a few days before the market jumps through the roof. You only wanted me to warn you about that next big down day. I can't use all my powers to watch both directions for you.

2. "Can you tell me which small company will be bigger than 'Company X' in 20 years?"
Sorry, I am not allowed to pass that information on to you, unless you tell me how much a loaf of bread will cost me at your family grocery store in the year 2026.

3. "Can you tell me how to turn my savings of $10.00 per month into a million dollars?"
Of course, but I doubt your great-great-grandchildren will be able to understand your babbling when you reach that magical amount.

4. "Do you know someone that can get me a few tickets to the World Series? I want to take my kids this year...."
I forgot I was also a travel agent in my spare time. I thought I was going to be able to sneak away and use all 20 of the tickets for myself, but you caught me. Feel like tagging along? Should we go ahead and liquidate your kid's college fund so you'll have spending money at the game too?

I always wonder if other professionals get asked crazy questions like I do.


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