Monday, November 14, 2005

Mister Happy-Happy

It's time for a visit from the Boss of our Boss's Boss. The guy-- I forget his official title-- will be making a trip into the office to do his checkup on us this week. Excited? Nervous? No. More like bored. Trust me, he earned the office nickname, "Mister Happy-Happy". Maybe it has a lot to do with the silly grin permanently attached to his face.

I honestly believe he came to us from the car makers overseas. Mister Happy-Happy likes to come around to each office and gladhand us and pump us all up, as if he's leading a pre-work exercise class. He has his own special pump-up methods also. First, he speaks with us individually in our offices and always makes a point of reminding you how great it is to live in this country (DUH!), and how great it is to work for our company. I guess it's important to be reminded about this. He likes talking about the greatness of the company, and then the greatness of the"U. S. of A." Every time we see him, it's another variation of the same speech. He then takes the time to ask, "How's the family?", like he remembers anything about your family. Funny to hear the newbies in the office respond to this question when they are still single. We then have a meeting with Mister Happy-Happy and the office executive committee alone, so the gladhanding and kissup continues.

Next, we will hold an office meeting and Mister Happy-Happy will repeat another variation of the same speech he gives every time. However, the funny point is Mister Happy-Happy's "Book of the Month Club" routine. Apparently, someone signed him up for a business book club a few years ago, and it stuck. We get the benefit of him producing the book he most recently read, and hearing the pertinent passages read to us. Yes-- out loud. Next, we get to hear how the author "really did mean" to apply his writing to the brokerage business, and how you yourself can produce the most superior results by reading the book. Just by reading this book you will earn more respect, produce better results for your clients, have a more rewarding business life, completely realign your family into the perfect Brady Bunch family, sexually satisfy your spouse, end world hunger, stop global warming, and save the planet from any stray asteroids. Thankfully, we have the benefit of hearing from Mister Happy-Happy and we get the benefit of his wisdom.

I have got to start scheduling myself some out-of-state financial conference when Mister Happy-Happy makes his appearances. Either that or I'll have to have to find a way to stay awake during his meetings. I think I would prefer to pay for the travel expenses and be gone instead, just so long as I don't have to read his chosen book on the flight.


Post a Comment

<< Home